Uncomfortable

I think I tend to make people uncomfortable. With my words. Or my language. Or both.


I am pretty sure that when I stood in front of my sorority on senior night LMAO about how my favorite movie was "Ernest Goes to Jail" because that is my fathers name and he had really been to jail I made people uncomfortable. It was a joke obviously, about that being my favorite movie and all. Its not.


I have definitely called my son a nightmare to friends. The looks were priceless. Again, uncomfortable. I mean really, he can be a nightmare, I can be a nightmare, most of them can be a nightmare too. Why can't I just be honest? Without the looks.


No one really likes it when I am honest about my pregnancy either. You know the part where I bled out something they think may have been JD's twin? Or when they told me he had a calcium deposit in his heart and that he MAY have down syndrome? Or when they told me that I have a heart shaped uterus and this may mean I won't be able to carry my son to term? That makes people uncomfortable.



It REALLY makes people uncomfortable when you call them out on their uncomfortable truth. So I really try and avoid that. Although my brain doesn't avoid it at all. I think about calling people out all the time. Because I.DON'T.GET.IT...or at least my brain doesn't understand why we all can't be honest.

I think when I use the "F" word a minimum of 10 times in one sentence makes some uncomfortable. I kind of, sort of understand this one. But I am so not going to stop.

I have noticed that asking my friends about how they are doing makes them uncomfortable. The question I get back a lot is, "why?" Ummm because I want to know how you are doing that is why. Because I care that is why.

Again, asking others about how their hubby or significant other the older we get makes people uncomfortable too. Most of the time I don't get a real answer. Which leads me to believe they don't want me to think that their relationship isn't what it always was (insert mental photo of them saying their "I Do's"). I know better. I AM married, remember. That's why I am asking. Aren't we supposed to be there for each other? And PS I want you to be happy in your marriage. I want you to have great sex and lots of it. I want your husband/boyfriend to tell you how awesome of a person you are. And I want you to tell me if he isn't doing this. Because maybe just maybe I can help. Or at least lend an ear. And offer cocktails.

You know what makes ME uncomfortable? That I grew up thinking things like religion, politics and abortion were the subjects too taboo to discuss. So I avoid them, for the most part at least. In fact, all of those "taboo" items are funny to me because I don't really care about them at all. I may think you are a bit close-minded if you won't listen to other's opinions, but if your beliefs are different than mine I don't care. In fact, thank God. How boring would life be if we all thought the same way?!

I digressed because I got off on a tangent on the taboo thing (go figure). The REAL taboo, turns out is that every one's truth is uncomfortable. Especially to discuss. Out Loud. And that makes me uncomfortable.

I would rather sit and have coffee and talk about my truth, your truth so help us God than talk about bullshit. Bullshit makes me uncomfortable. The FBI raiding my house does not.

Anyway...I had just been thinking about this. Its nothing personal to anyone in particular. Its just life I guess. I like that I use my voice and that my own experiences don't make me uncomfortable. I appreciate that my family, as dysfunctional as we were/are, allowed me to FEEL and be honest about my feelings.

I like that I am a person that doesn't really care if my life appears perfect to everyone. I think perfect sounds miserable.

I like that my son is a nightmare sometimes. Makes for good conversation as far as I am concerned. Makes me a better mom too.

The only thing that made me uncomfortable about my pregnancy was the weight gain and stretch marks. The other part was very scary. Scarier that I couldn't talk about it without making everyone uncomfortable. I have a healthy son. So the pregancy was just a part of my life story.

And my dad going to jail...well that sucked. His gambling habits caught up with him and he was the fall guy in the midst of many other gamblers. I hate that for him, the jail part. I hate that for my family too and all we went through. But I know all of it happened for a reason. And I know I am who I am because of all of my experiences, including this one. I have chosen (with the help of a fabulous therapist) to enjoy the messiness in life.

Speaking of therapists (insert my own ADD right now)...talking about going to a therapist makes people REAL uncomfortable. By the way, you all should go to one. Its the best gift you will ever give yourself. Believe that!

(and I am back from ADD land) Personally I think we would all be better off if we got a little bit more UNCOMFORTABLE and a little more REAL. But that's just me.

I am so going to get a lot of phone calls after this one. HA!

Morning Coffee

Coffee has been necessary lately as we are battling the 2 year old vs. the big boy bed. Let me tell you folks, the big boy bed isn't all its cracked up to be. The crib on the other hand...well I heart the crib. I miss the crib and its cage like features that kept my baby safe and sound.

Anyway, I clearly need to save all of that for another blog.

Today (after the worlds worst night of sleep, thanks to said big boy bed) I woke up "refreshed" and enjoyed my morning coffee outside with Mr. JD. We chatted, err, had some "coffee talk" and I captured a bit on camera as I never want to forget this cuteness.

Hugs

Today I had one of those funny moments in life when you are talking with one of your greatest friends and you realize that what you just said only that friend understands. Or better yet, that friend knows you so well that what you just said they GET it and they LIKEY, they might even laugh out loud(ey).



Sometimes I take that for granted. you know the whole getting to be myself around my true friends. Because lets be honest folks, you aren't your 100% self at work, or in those oh so fun situations where you are the new person of a group...you know what I am talking about.

And I can be high maintenance as a friend. I can be loud, or talk way too much, or be WAYYYYY to opinoinated. So today was one of those fun Oprah "ah-ha" moments where you realize how obnoxious you are as a person (or can be...or maybe that's just me...don't be jealous) and that there are actually great people in this world that love you in spite of all of that. Besides your husband or your parents? These people chose to be your friend. Thank them people, they deserve it.


And yes in case you care I do consider myself a good friend to those who are good to me. I love and admire the people I surround myself with, and they know this. I still don't think I could tell them enough though...


It takes a lot of years to build a history with a person, the good, the great, the happy, the sad, the tears, the fears and the cheers. I cherish that. All of it. I want to hug it and all of my friends today! I wish this for JD...everyone deserves this family of friends! Have you hugged a friend today?

Scrappy

Amy over at our OHML gave me this blog award, oh I don't know, about a week (or more) ago and I haven't had the chance to respond. Amy is not only a blog friend, but one of my oldest real life friends! So thanks Amy! You rock as I know you know I HEART blog awards and you are most likely just appeasing me. :)

Honest Scrap Award Rules

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.

2. Copy and place the award on your blog.

3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.

4. Share 10 things about yourself.

5. Nominate 10 of your favorite bloggers for this award.

6. Post links to the blogs you nominate.

Ten Things you may or may not know about Mamalouise:

1. I am an excellent multi-tasker. I can literally finish three things at once and sometimes when I hit, save, send, save in a matter of seconds and realize that literally just ADD'd out on three documents but also got them done efficiently I laugh out loud (literally) because I can't believe I just did that. My husband DOES NOT understand this by the way as I can be typing and carrying on a conversation with him about what to get at the grocery, who is picking J up and when my last meeting is for the day and really be INTO both.

2. Speaking of the above ADD, I totally think I have always had a version of this. I even went so far as to go online to adultADD.com a few years back and take the 5 question test. It said I was all good in the hood but I don't really buy it. I have never been medicated for this but honestly think I would have been a better student had I been on something. I am especially bad at this if I have too much multi-tasking/on my mind. I jump all over the place in a conversation with someone and even annoy myself.

3. I have excellent peripheral vision. I feel like this is a gift because I can see so much having this. Its like seeing a panoramic view of the world 24/7...creepy eh? :)

4. I love to dance. I even toss around the idea of taking a dance class of sorts now. I am by no means very good at dancing but I loved being on a dance team/show choir back in the day and knowing moves to an entire song. It was just plain fun. Now I just make up my moves and sadly, JD has picked most of them up, but I could sing and dance all day, every day and be the happiest girl in the world. Makes me wonder why I didn't go live on a cruise ship for a few years after college. Could have been fun...oh but don't worry I tell P-Daddy all the time that when we retire we should do something like that! Would keep us younger! HA! But at that point I would probably be more qualified to be a dealer in the casino than sing and dance-which also would work for me!

5. The men in my life have better wardrobes than me. I would MUCH rather dress them than myself. My husband probably has more shoes than I do even! Its not that I don't like fashion, or looking nice...believe me I do. I just LOVE to purchase them clothes. I feel its easier to dress them than myself. I am working on this factoid about me though...because I don't want them looking all pretty all the time and not be included in the prettiness. HA!

6. I got my belly button pierced when I was 15 years old, took that baby out when I was 21 years old and I STILL HAVE THE HOLE AT 29 years young. Note to all young readers out there...when you get a belly ring because you think it is less invasive to the body than a tattoo...you are wrong. It will permanently scar your body with a hole, gross. I am soo getting plastic surgery though (probably, hopefully) after any and all children are born in this family because in general there has been "damage" to that area done that no one BUT a surgeon could fix. Damnit to 15 year old logic and Damnit to all those doughnuts I ate during pregnancy. :)

7. I have driven some sort of SUV since 2000 (with a small blip in the radar of a Honda Civic for a hot second). So far my favorite has been the Acura MDX, but I would never own one again because I had more problems with that thing than ever (which is why I don't own it anymore). But it was oh so pretty and special. Have I mentioned that I also love to drive and am kind of a control freak about this particular thing in my life? Oh...well then yeah, I am like that so having a car that I love is kind of important. :) If the Chevy Tahoe wasn't such a gas hog, there would be a beautiful black one in my garage right now. Maybe one day...

8. I was an "athlete" growing up. I put "athlete" because my career pretty much peaked in 5th grade with being a "star" at SLOW PITCH softball. But I am glad that I was able to be involved with so many sports. I obviously feel this helped me keep in shape for most of my life as I have never been scared of a gym or athletic opportunity, but I am also glad to know about these sports and be able to play/practice with our children some day soon!

9. I love making photo books (not to be mistaken for scrapbooks), and memory picture videos. So far JD has a memory video for each year of his life, along with a photo book. I don't plan to stop this tradition as it is so much fun! And how fun will it be to combine all of these and put together a super long one to play as a loop at his high school graduation party? Oh yeah, already planning that! :)

10. I had a concentration in Speech Communications in college. I loved learning the art of articulating myself well in public situations. I didn't know until I started attending professional education seminars that the number ONE fear of most adults is public speaking! I have always felt God gave me my voice for a reason and I have ALWAYS had something to say, so why not use that voice? But I totally get it, for those that do have that fear. I still get a little scared before I go before a group but it gives me such a rush to be able to share whatever is on the agenda that day. :)

And believe me when I say, you are ALL winners...so please except this award on behalf of me! :)

Happy Blogiversary to ME!

Today I celebrate year number two as a blogger. Crazy to think that two years ago I started with THIS post. JD was so little...and I was still trying to lose that darn pregnancy weight...oh how the years go by!

Last year I did the whole 30 blogs in 30 days to get myself to 100 posts within a years time (see Year 1 Blogiversary post HERE) . That was super fun but it apparently made me all blogged out. I did so many in so little time (because if you remember girlfriend can't count apparently and ended up realizing I needed to do 30 in 24 days which lead to me writing 7 blogs in one day...I don't recommend it) when it was all said and done I apparently didn't have much to say...

...because well this year, if I am being real real with you... I have been a blogger slacker. I only did 4o some odd posts all year and they really didn't amount to what I really wanted to say. This means I have a lot in my head that I think about sharing with you but I never took the time to write it (errr type it).

In my thinking and not blogging year I have decided that I am not a mommy blogger. Although I do like to share some funny events in JD's life, I selfishly like to mostly talk about me. Or I guess those are my favorite posts. So in year THREE I am vowing to do more of that. Girlfriend has a lot to say, believe me. Watch out.

So Happy Second Blogiversary to me! Pretty sure I am going to dance in my underoos and eat ice cream out of the carton to celebrate. I might even take a shower before 7pm today...its gonna get buck wild probably.


Thought maybe you would want to celebrate also dancing in your underoos but (of course) while reading my self-proclaimed best of blogs in the past two years! For those of you (ahem) dedicated stalkers that do click on the blogs below, I thank you kindly...promise they won't disappoint.


Mamalouise's Blog Fav's
(this is soo self righteous I am laughing at myself while doing it...yet still I am gonna do it! HA)


Favorite Blog from Year #1: "Thoughts"


Favorite "30 blogs in 30 days" Blog: "Learning from other's mistakes"


Favorite Blog from Year #2 (and the blog that confused a lot of people): "29"

Reader's Choice to date (The blog that received the most comments): "The Skinny"

Favorite Blog with JD Video: "Riding Along in my Automobile"

National Doughnut Day

I know, I know I have been MIA. But its National Doughnut Day and I just couldn't leave this alone and not tell you about it! It is doughnuts after all.

I do find this ironic because just the other day JD and I were driving to GranBecks house and just as we approached a strip mall that happens to have Dunkin Donuts in it he announced that he had to go potty. We don't mess around with this anouncement so OF COURSE I had to stop and allow my son to releave himself. And then I just DIDNT want to be "that girl" that just goes into a store to use the restroom and not actually purchase anything so I HAD to purchase a half dozen doughnuts, right? Right?

And yes JD had his eaten well before we got to GranBecks house...he gets this honestly as I ate more than I care to share with you while pregnant with him. Poor kid got a shock wave of sugar all the time in the womb and hasn't had much to speak of at all since his birth.

Although I do not endorse Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts, as they are not even close to my favorite doughnut, they are giving them away today. Click here to see if the Krispy Kreme near you can get you the hook up or HERE to see where the closest Dunkin Donuts to you is. IF I were you, I would go to both and get two free doughnuts. But thats just if I were you.

If you live in Dvegas and read this blog...please go to Royal Doughnut today for me will ya? To say I am jealous of you is an understatement. Best Ever.

Second best though...just in case you were wondering...I have found to be at Casey's General Stores. They are of the cake variety but seriously rock the house.

And if you are of the Betty Crocker variety of people, Click Here for a great recipe to make homemade doughnuts!