Wednesday, June 22, 2011

If you just smile

I noticed last night as I was laughing out loud at the rerun of Saturday Night Live we had DVR'd that my face hurt. I noticed this the night before too. Hurt like it did when I used to smile for hours through a Madrigal performance back in the day.

And then I smiled...again

Because I realized that my face hurt because I am smiling so much.

How fun is that?

I do have so much to smile about and I know this but knowing you have a lot to smile about and actually smiling about it are two different things people.

And I have been smiling so much, without even realizing it that my face hurts at the end of the day.

So blessed. So freaking, flipping blessed.

Here is a glimpse into my smiles...I hope it makes you smile too! Love my life!

PS-may need a reminder of this face hurting due to smiling so much business very, very soon if Baby J doesn't start to consistently sleep through the night pronto! :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

My Little Boy

For some reason I have been thinking a lot about these pictures...or I guess the day behind these pictures...


He was 13 months old on this day and I remember thinking that he was soo big! He didn't really talk until he was 27 months old but yet I look back at these and think about the language he and I had. Its remarkable to me that I stayed at home with JD for over 2 years and for most of that time he couldn't tell me a thing in plain English.

And yet he told me everything.

He really is a little me and P-Daddy all rolled into one. Which can be challenging at times...because, really...who wants to live with themselves? Or a small version of themselves at that? The cute parts of yourself, sure. But the little girl and little boy parts inside of you that are raw and sensitive and humble and outspoken and and AND...well those can be a bit more difficult of course.

And yet even those difficult parts about a 3 year old that is just like you is still beautiful.

I laid in bed the other night while trying to fall asleep and my heart starting to ache. Because he is growing up. He is making friends. Not MY friends children, his own, real life friends. And I am so proud of him.

So proud that when asked which child wants to come up in front of the class to tell a story about an unknown thing he jumps up and can't wait to do it. Turns out it was about a robot. Score.

He does a perfect Robot impression.

But my heart ached because for some reason on this random night of trying to fall asleep I got super in touch with my own childhood. Or could remember things that were painful. Like feeling as though I wasn't good enough or cool enough as the people that surrounded me. Feeling left out, being made fun of. All things that are a part of any childhood.

And yet all things he hasn't had the pleasure of knowing yet.

He is this amazing, beautiful, outspoken little boy and I want him to ALWAYS know this. Something that I feel like all parents lose (including mine) is the perspective of who their child is right at this point in their life. I read recently that our God given talents are there ready to be improved upon at the ripe age of TWO! Its just what our parents decide to do with us that shapes whether or not we really develop those talents.

I want to help shape his God given talents. I don't want to hinder them. I don't want to ever forget who he is right now.

I want him to LOVE who he is always and forever. I want to help him with that journey. Because, as we all know, its not easy to love yourself through thick and thin. But if I could accomplish one thing as a mommy it would be that. To have children who are completely aware of who they are and love that person. Amen-Hallelujah.

And so...

Wait for it...

Challenge Accepted! :)