My Little Boy

For some reason I have been thinking a lot about these pictures...or I guess the day behind these pictures...

My LITTLE JD.

He was 13 months old on this day and I remember thinking that he was soo big! He didn't really talk until he was 27 months old but yet I look back at these and think about the language he and I had. Its remarkable to me that I stayed at home with JD for over 2 years and for most of that time he couldn't tell me a thing in plain English.

And yet he told me everything.

He really is a little me and P-Daddy all rolled into one. Which can be challenging at times...because, really...who wants to live with themselves? Or a small version of themselves at that? The cute parts of yourself, sure. But the little girl and little boy parts inside of you that are raw and sensitive and humble and outspoken and and AND...well those can be a bit more difficult of course.

And yet even those difficult parts about a 3 year old that is just like you is still beautiful.

I laid in bed the other night while trying to fall asleep and my heart starting to ache. Because he is growing up. He is making friends. Not MY friends children, his own, real life friends. And I am so proud of him.

So proud that when asked which child wants to come up in front of the class to tell a story about an unknown thing he jumps up and can't wait to do it. Turns out it was about a robot. Score.

He does a perfect Robot impression.

But my heart ached because for some reason on this random night of trying to fall asleep I got super in touch with my own childhood. Or could remember things that were painful. Like feeling as though I wasn't good enough or cool enough as the people that surrounded me. Feeling left out, being made fun of. All things that are a part of any childhood.

And yet all things he hasn't had the pleasure of knowing yet.

He is this amazing, beautiful, outspoken little boy and I want him to ALWAYS know this. Something that I feel like all parents lose (including mine) is the perspective of who their child is right at this point in their life. I read recently that our God given talents are there ready to be improved upon at the ripe age of TWO! Its just what our parents decide to do with us that shapes whether or not we really develop those talents.

I want to help shape his God given talents. I don't want to hinder them. I don't want to ever forget who he is right now.

I want him to LOVE who he is always and forever. I want to help him with that journey. Because, as we all know, its not easy to love yourself through thick and thin. But if I could accomplish one thing as a mommy it would be that. To have children who are completely aware of who they are and love that person. Amen-Hallelujah.

And so...


Wait for it...

Challenge Accepted! :)

Happy Birthday to my JD,

It occurred to me today how BIG you have gotten and how long it had been since I last wrote you a letter so here I am tonight...

You turned the big T-W-O last Sunday and as much as we knew the date, prepared for your little party and were ready to go, P-Daddy and I definitely had a moment together long after you had gone to bed that night. We were staring at each other, tears in our eyes, talking about little old you and how we couldn't believe you were two...already! And in true mama fashion (that I am sure you will grow to love, then hate, then hopefully love again), to lighten the mood I pulled down my pants (whoa-don't worry, not going to go too graphic here) to show P-Daddy the scar that was a part of bringing you into the world and giggled at how that was also two years old.

Tonight as I sit in our quite home, look over at your toys neatly put away I am thinking to myself how I cannot imagine my life, our life without those toys in it. And no toys would be here without you and I cannot my dear understand what life would be like without you. I mean I know there are many, many mothers who are out there feeling the exact same way too but it somehow feels really special to have that feeling about you.

You stand 31/2 feet tall now (seriously catching up to your mom WAY too fast) and proudly do you stand Mr. JD. You already have these muscles that are crazy big for just being a toddler. You have walked on your tippy toes for some time now and that has for sure contributed to your mean calf muscles...but it doesn't stop there! You have biceps and chest muscles too. May be because you try and lift the kitchen table at least three times a day (and sometimes succeed) or push heavy doors open when we are in public, or all of the other muscle man activities you decide are necessary to attempt in a days time...

You are talking now, a feat that P-Daddy and I weren't sure was going to happen any time soon. Oh but don't worry, cause we weren't. We knew you would speak, in English at some point, but as you do everything, we also knew it would be on YOUR time. You have ALWAYS been very vocal, but talked in your own language. You still do that and look at me in the most sincere way as if I am supposed to know EXACTLY how you feel about that particular sentence, so most of the time I tell you "exactly" and you seem to be happy with that (so far). But today, while grocery shopping I had given you your snack cup to munch on in your little grocery car while I raced through the store...low and behold you finished in the first 1/3 of the store and proudly stuck your little hand out of the car and pronounced "more, more, more" until I found the snack aisle and refilled your cup. Music to my ears son...MUSIC to my ears to hear your little voice telling me what you would like. Here's to hoping that the word "please" is next in line on the vocab list. :)

You are a "do-er" at heart. You have always been this way but your "do it allness" has really come out a lot lately. You show me around the house pointing to where things should go, like laundry and fans and humidifiers and your blankets. You are very perceptive and you really do know where everything should go. You also have started the routine of pointing to the table when I or P-Daddy is getting your food ready, kind of like "ummm...bring on the bacon"...but lets be clear, you only do the point when its something you are looking forward to. This, my dear, unfortunately is a rarity in our home. I cannot WAIT until you start pointing and saying "more peas mom, more peas PLEASE."

You are the best hugger right now. You LOVE giving people bear hugs, fully embracing them with your hands wrapped around their neck. It is so lovely that I tear up just thinking about it. You also give kisses ALL the time now. You used to be rather stubborn about this and wouldn't do it unless you saw fit but now you pucker up and walk over to whomever will kiss you in that moment. ..and I am pretty sure I speak for the majority when I say a big mmmmwwwwwaaa back at ya!

I can't write this letter without mentioning your love and devotion for electrical cords. The only time you throw fits (for now) is when I take an electrical cord away from you. They are your PRIZED possessions when you can get your little hands on one and you walk from outlet to outlet (supervised of course) plugging and unplugging and plugging and unplugging it in. You discovered how to take the outlet covers off, oh I don't know...when you were about 18 months old so at this point we just watch you with a very close eye and from time to time allow you to do your plugging and unplugging. Everyone joked that was going to be the gift of choice for your 2nd birthday. I think you seriously would have been elated, but P-Daddy and I said a big "NO" to that one. We have to draw the line somewhere Mr...and just so you know a head of time, this will not be the ONLY line we draw. :)

You LOVE yourself some Daddy. Pretty much whenever given the opportunity you will mention his name. And its always a babble story, then Daddy, then babble, then Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. And its DADDY, never Dadda. But for whatever reason I am mama, never mommy. I could CARE less what you call me though, I am just glad that I have a name in your book because for the longest time I too was Daddy. When Daddy gets home from work you RUN to see him and giggle and smile and embrace him as if it has been years!! I LOVE this and I know your Daddy does too. Its so fun for me to watch you love him and he love you.

You really do embrace "night night" time which I realized while GranBeck was visiting is really not that normal (but just for the record, "normal" is boring...never strive for this k?!). You really don't cry when we lay you down for a nap or bedtime, its normally met with smiles and a "bye." The other night, it was bedtime and you were drinking your milk and watching Sesame Street sitting in my lap "winding" down, and all of the sudden you saw your beloved "Dirt Devil" broom across the room and decided that you needed to have it, right at that moment. So you dropped everything, ran over to it and "swept" the carpet for about one minute. Then you put it back in its place, looked over at me and said "night night" and then looked at GranBeck and said "bye" and came over put your hands up for me to whisk you away to bedtime. Freaking precious child, you certainly do know how to pull at your mama's heart strings and me getting sleep is one way to do that! I do see this as unbelievable as you really didn't like to sleep at all for the first nine months of your life and for the longest time I still held my breath every time I laid you down for any sort of sleep. But I breathed a sigh of real relief the other night realizing that you too appreciate some down time in your life and do like to sleep. Thank you Lord JESUS for that...

As your mama I could go on and on and on but these moments really do highlight the little man you are right at this moment. You are loved by so many...I want you to always know this love.

Happy Second Birthday Son...I can't wait to celebrate many, many more years with you!

Love,

Mama

Dear JD, {2}

You are officially 21 months now. Even typing that seems crazy...you are ALMOST TWO years old!! With that said, P-Daddy and I still watch you in amazement each and every day. We still think you are the neatest, smartest, most intuitive child to walk the face of the earth. We always will I am just sure of it.

I can now picture you as a little boy. When you were a wee little thing I couldn't picture this (or wrap my brain around it). But now I can. You have your own personality for sure (you always have). Although you still really aren't talking to us in what most would consider the English language, you communicate what you want or need very well. Your little voice is so cute by the way...and I realize this tid bit will be embarrassing if you eventually read this when you are older, but I want you to know and it to be in the history books...



You have been rather trying lately. I feel like its the beginning of what folks call "the Terrible Two's." I know that a lot of this is the fact that you are saying something to us that we don't understand and its very frustrating for you. We are trying my dear...we sure are trying. You are so vocal though and you point, and then you get louder and louder and louder with the hopes that we will finally get it. Sometimes we are successful and sometimes we aren't. Most of the time we just nod, agreeing with you which, for now you seem to be happy with.



You are such a happy boy, so intrigued with the world around you. I know you are so that child that is loud talking your own language in stores. I let you. I love it. You say hello to every single stranger that walks by us no matter where you are. You say good bye when we leave anywhere to whomever will listen. You get frustrated with people when they don't pay attention to your sentiments. I love that you are already social. You get that honestly.



You love your daddy. You are starting to mimic everything he does too. The other day he was standing in the kitchen talking to me with his arms crossed and there you were standing right next to him, arms crossed "talking" louder and louder and louder until we would acknowledge that what you were saying was important. If Daddy puts his hand in his pocket, you are trying to do the same. If Daddy goes outside to grill, you run right to the door to be with him. This is something I know is only going to grow with time and I love it. I love it for you and I love it for your daddy. You are going to have such a special relationship, and I can't wait to watch it grow.


You "talk" all the time on your fake cell phone. I assume this is mimicking mommy. My favorite part of this play time is when you "answer" the phone and then immediately start cracking up, tilting your head back as if someone has just said the funniest thing in the world. You learned that somewhere...and I am not ashamed to say it was from me. I like that you are so observant. I like that if I have a hair clip in my hair that is the first thing you notice (translated, grab for).

You know that when the computer makes a noise, its most likely GranBeck calling on Skype and you go RUNNING like its the most important thing in the world. When the house phone rings you will go and get it and bring it to us. You no longer run in the other direction like the phone is a toy. You know exactly what to do...and we are so proud of you.

Everyone who meets you says you are so "busy." And you are. You literally do not stop from the time you wake up in the morning until you rest your head on your mattress at night. You move from one thing, to the next, to the next, to the next and then the other thing and then the leggos, and the puzzle and the books (where you pause and pretend to read for a nano second), and then climb the coffee table, dance a little, slide off, move to your lawn mower, get bored oh yeah climb on the kitchen chair and have a meal...it never stops. I have recently lost some weight for no apparent reason than those I just mentioned above...namely you...so thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you my son. :)

You and I have started a new nightly routine as of late. We go upstairs and I rock you in the rocking chair and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and whatever else you will let me for a few minutes. You normally don't sit still in my lap for more than a nano second so I consider this a very special time that I am hoping to continue for a long long time.

These last 21 months would have been so empty without you. Our life would not be full without you in it. We feel so lucky to have the original you in our lives each and every day.

Love,
Momma

Dear JD,

I have never written you a letter before because I just felt cheesy doing it but for some reason I have this internal push to do so now...so here I go.



You are 18 months, 21 days, 3 hours and 28 minutes old. I prefer to drop the whole "month" thing and just say you are 1 1/2...A YEAR AND A HALF...how did that happen already? I have this feeling that if you ever do read my blog you will be in your twenties and you will be like..."mom, seriously? You are a nightmare!" But I think you will probably eventually say those exact same words for some other nightmarish thing I end up doing along the way so I am going to continue blogging about our life.

This leads into the question of...have I told you that I think you are going to be opinionated yet? You will get this trait VERY honestly by the way...and Daddy and I have something coming for us I am sure. Well...at a year and a half you already kind of are opinoinated in your own "lost in translation" sort of way and Daddy and I LOVE IT! We are always going to encourage you to vocalize how you feel about things. But I am telling you right now, we are not always going to agree with you Mr. :)

Right now you are soaking everything in you possibly can and everyday I can see your eyes focused and your ears tuned in because you are a learning machine. You still aren't really "talking" but as said above, you do talk and share your opinions in the only (current) way you know how. Your favorite phrase is "Whats that?" (sounds like "wos aaaa?") and you ask that question about a cazillion times a day. We love it and answer each and every time because we cannot wait to hear that first clear as day word come from your mouth. Your favorite word (or closest to it) is "Dad" (prounounced "Da"). We have heard "ma" but normally only when you are mad about something. I hope this isn't a trend. We are so proud of your curiosity.

You do understand what we say though. Sometimes you try and pretend like this isn't the case, but you completely get us now. That is something Daddy and I weren't expecting and have really come to appreciate. I think we both thought you would talk first and then understand us. It really has been quite the opposite. You have understood us for months and do whatever we say (unless you are pretending you don't understand us, and this typically leads to a "time out"). Its amazing to have you understand what we are saying, because now we communicate with each other.

Recently you have decided to start climbing. You have always sort of climbed up on the ottoman but now its the top of the couch, the coffee table (where you also breakdance), kitchen table chairs, up and down the stairs and if I somehow the cabinets are unlocked from their babyproofing you would love to use the convenient pull out drawer as a step stool to get on the counters and dance.

Funny story...I always take you upstairs with me when I go to sort and start the laundry for the day/week (our laundry room is upstairs). You typically ride laundry basket over to start a load with me and then run around upstairs terrorizing night lights, blankets from your room, remotes from the guest rooms and anything else you can get your hands on. I let you because none of this is dangerous and it keeps you occupied. You never dare to try and go back downstairs as you are a little leery of going DOWN stairs by yourself. That is until the other day...when I was putting a load of laundry in and didn't hear you anymore. I yelled your name and still nothing. Then I heard something hit the hardwood floors at the bottom of the stairs (don't worry people this is a good ending). My heart stopped beating and I ran to the stairs thinking the worst. But there you were ALL THE WAY AT THE BOTTOM smiling the biggest cheese ever with the remote control (because heaven forbid you forget that anywhere you go) which had just fallen off the bottom step because you had carried it in your little hand the entire way down and dropped it just as you were hitting the first floor ready to run. So a chapter closed that day in our morning routine because as happy as I was that you were safe and sound, I also knew that could have ended very differently so you stay downstairs confined by gates in the safe living room while mommy goes to do the laundry. I am still very proud of you that you braved the big staircase all by yourself and went down the "baby way" safely.

You have also started giving us REAL kisses on the lips. This is something that you have done off and on since you were 9 months old but really you were more off than on. Lately if we make the kissey noise (translated MMWWWAA) you pucker your lips and make the same noise from wherever you are. Then if we ask for a kiss you lean in for and go straight for our lips! Its so freaking cute and we are enjoying every last one because we know that as independent as you are...this too shall pass.

We have always been very impressed with your motor skills. You were stuck in the same position in mommies belly for basically 9 months straight because of mommies oddly shaped uterus so I believe you came into the world and said "thank GOD" then stretched your arms and legs as far as they could go and have never stopped. I won't rehash all of your accomplishments on here because people read this and we aren't trying to brag on you (and I actually did document these sorts of things in your baby book so check there if you are curious) but you are amazing! Mommy and Daddy don't know all the ins and outs with "Gross" and "Fine" motor skills but everyone that comes around tells us you have them both mastered already. You recently started building huge buildings with your mega blocks (translated: large Lego's), did a "pudding painting" with GranBeck with an actual paint brush, and you color almost daily.

When you were an infant you HATED being naked. You peed through about a million outfits a day though so you were constantly naked throughout most days therefore you were screaming your head off. Everyone that came around found this very strange because apparently most babies love to be naked. Well to us you have never been "most babies" about anything so it wasn't surprising to hear that at all. At 1 1/2 you would now MUCH rather be naked than with clothes. In fact, given the opportunity you will undress yourself, even taking off your own diaper! This is not funny so please stop with the diaper business. We don't need poop on or in the carpet. Oh yeah...you aren't reading this until you are twenty...well anyway I hope you stopped, otherwise I have probably scarred you for life telling everyone your naked stories. Yes, I am totally going to be that mom. You also LOVE to pee in mommy and daddy's closet before and after bath time. We have purchased a potty because I am pretty sure you know what you are doing now. It may be time to start the process of potty training. I hear thats fun...again I will let you know in your teens in front of all of your friends how that one went. :)

Speaking of bath time...it is probably Daddy and my (and yours too) favorite time of the day. You have become this olympic swimmer/synchronized swimmer in our tub. You voluntarily lay back in the water with your just your face out of the water for most of your bath. You typically tell us "stories" while kicking your little legs as fast as they can go! Towards the end of every bath, as we are letting out the water you also flip over, stick your head in whats left of the water face first and blow bubbles. We did not teach you to do either of these things by the way so we aren't sure where you learned them, but we couldn't be more thrilled that you love the water as much as you do. We are, however concerned that your confidence is going to lead to you running up to the deep end of the community pool this summer and just jumping in. Due to this concern you will be living in some sort of flotation device whenever we are around water.

You never were a cuddler. I see all of my (and your) friends all snuggled up together for milk time or just because time and you are typically running around in circles laughing and "talking" (and lets be honest...on occasion screaming too). I stop you, sit you in my lap and give you a big hug and before I know it you are out of my lap and running again. I love your energy and am so proud of your mobility but I can't tell you how excited I am that you have entered a cuddle stage. This morning you came up to me as I was sitting at our kitchen table reading email and you stuck your arms up so I would pick you up and then just laid your little head on my shoulder for at least five minutes. This never happens so I am thrilled whenever I get those moments. I hope that we always hug each other.

A few of my other favorites are that you love purses and carry them around the house like a mommy (this is obviously NOT one of Daddy's favorite things), you know how to get the rocket started along with Little Einsteins (patting your legs and saying "pa, pa, pa" and then raising your arms in the air and saying BLAST OFF, or rather, "BAHHH"!-Its priceless), you dance on beat, especially when mom sneaks in some rap music to your life (you bump and grind and its hysterical), you are a ham and whenever there is a crowd in the house you use the middle of the living room as your stage and put on a lovely show (by running in circles and falling to the ground laughing over and over again), you go up to adults (people you know or complete strangers) and say "hiiieeee" and wave to them. You wave to people on my cell phone and cars on the road, sing the ABC song (just la la la-again priceless), you are trying to eat with a spoon or a spork with every meal but you ALWAYS stick your finger in and lick it FIRST (as to test to make sure what I have given you is actual food) before you decide that using the utensil may be appropriate, you know where your eyes, ears, nose, mouth and toes are...and you kind of know where your elbow is but most of the time when I ask you that question you just point to Elmo, and when daddy comes home from work you give me this shock and awe look on your face as you hear his car pull into the garage and run to the gate to greet him with a big smile and a "DA!"

I am sure this will not be the ONLY letter I will ever write to you but mostly you will get a lot of talking out of me. I guess the letter(s) will be few and far between so that you actually pay attention to the words instead of tuning me out (I am only assuming here...because I talk a lot and am sure you will get lots of earfuls that will warrant some tuning me out).

There is so much to say about you I could fill the entire Internet. You are such an amazing young toddler in every way. Your laugh is contagious, your smile warms hearts (especially dads and mine) and your pure will to do everything you do is inspiring. I think Dad and I are sometimes surprised at how amazing you are and that somehow we made you. Then the reality that everything we are currently doing is molding you hits us and we freak out for a second, then come back to reality and go back to doing our best at being your parents. You make us better people and we are thankful for you everyday. We always will be.

Love,
Mom