Thoughts...

More often than not I lay in bed at night trying to fall asleep and all I can think about is writing a book (and now sometimes a blog entry). To explain, I have always wanted to write a book about my family. Yes, in many ways we are interesting and dramatic enough to excite readers, but I mostly want to write to help other families get through their not so fun times. So I lay there, and write complete chapters in my head. I have thought about getting up and actually writing/typing something many times but for whatever reason I don't(probably because I am exhausted)...and so here we are.

Women I Come From (hidden behind those smiles is a lot of LOVE and a little bit of dysfunction!)

For whatever reason I feel compelled to blog about my writing block. I think its because I laid in bed last night dreaming up a beautifully written (and wity) blog about my writing block so now I feel as though I need to follow through!

I read all of these wonderful blogs about babies and feel as though I actually know the mother's because of their passion, honesty, and love that comes through in their writing. But most of us (and I include me now because I blog about my baby) don't talk about ourselves. Our rather maybe ourselves before the babies?? I have been thinking a lot about myself before Jacob lately. Realizing how much I have changed in 10 months.

Me, literally 10 months ago

I was not the 4.0 super involved college student. In fact,my friends thought I would be the least succesful of the bunch (nice huh?). Turns out, after a few crappy jobs right out of college, I hit it big and found the job of my dreams (at the time). I worked for a National new home builder as a sales consultant. I LOVED to sell homes. And turns out, when you love something, most of the time you excel. And I did. Then the Marketing and Design Center manager position came available within my company, I applied and got it! And I LOVED this position (at least at first). So I went from being the "least likely to succeed" to becoming a Manager by age 25 (felt pretty good, and again I loved what I did). I think the best way to describe my appreciation for my former job life is that it felt amazing to be a part of something that really helped people (and I love homes!) and that my peers respected my thoughts and opinoins (for the most part, no one has a perfect job life...right?).

My former life

There are definitely days where I miss that life. Believe me when I say that it was the best decision I ever made not to go back there (long story but mostly consists of bad housing market, and Mr. JD being so amazing I just couldn't go back) but still... I have my days. Mostly I miss the independence and the feeling of being accomplished. Its funny too because when any mom or non mom asks me if I had always planned to stay at home I laugh. Because I sincerely didn't plan on this. I planned to be super mom and to be completely fine with dropping my little one off at a daycare facility everyday. Oh how that first baby cry you here can completely change your life.

How could this not change your life? :)

And honestly its not like I don't feel accomplished stay at home with JD. He is my little hero in every way. I couldn't have asked for a happier child who loves to explore and get into everything! And even though I don't like to give myself any credit, some of his advancement probably has to do with me. And for you mother's out there that are working and wish to be at home, please don't think that I take this for granted. I enjoy every moment and am thankful that I got the choice. But some days I wish to be you too (the grass is always greener, right?)

This picture really sums up our little man (our happy mover!)

Its just been a funny couple of years, pregnancy to motherhood. I can't say that I would change anything about these years because they have been great, just different. I know there is a lot more "different" to come and am excited about it. I guess the point of this was for me to not just sit in bed at night and think about writing something, but actually doing it! And also maybe an inspiration to all of you moms out there to focus on yourself for a blog or two. Remember behind every amazing baby is an even more amazing mom!

You will probably get these random thoughts from me from time to time (just as a heads up) Who knows...I may even share some of my ridiculous family stories with you from time to time. :)