I first off want to thank all for the out poor of emails, phone calls and comments. Seriously I didn't know I had support like that and it is ridiculously appreciated (brought tears to my eyes).
Secondly...I went back and reread my "Soap Box" blog and realize that it sounded a little "whoa is me." That really wasn't what I intended at all. I was just trying to rant a little bit about liars and give a specific example to a liar in my life I cannot get rid of. I did cry my eyes out when I confronted her, and yes ZD is a sour subject...but yesterday it kind of sounded like it was a sour subject that I couldn't handle. Wasn't and am not trying to be the victim. She is who she is and I have learned to deal. Doesn't mean I don't call my mom and yell and scream sometimes about it...but in all sincere honesty, it is what it is with her.
I have talked to Papa President MANY a times about her and their situation. I said "I don't know what to do" (about them getting married) it just perplexes me as to why my dad would marry someone like her. I have talked to my dad about this, many a times. He knows exactly how I feel.
I promise I wasn't looking at all for a "feel sorry for me" moment. This family crap is part of what makes me who I am. I don't have to be around them every day and when I do I try and make the best of it.
Thank you again everybody! You are good people. I like good people!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Soap Box
I am on my soap box this morning (and really in general) about lying/liars. I know, we are all human and we all lie. But for me, even little white lies make me feel awful so I try and avoid it. I think when you have children the lying goes to a whole new level. Probably because all of us mothers (even though most of us say and even think we despise this) compare our children. And ALL of our children will do things in a different order. I realize that just from reading all of your blogs. JD doesn't say anything but "hi" and "dada" (in real life instances, meaning he waves at people and says his version of "hi" and looks at dad and says "dada"-to me those are the only ones that count) right now for instance, but he practically runs around the house (and anywhere else for that matter). Although when I was asked the other day if he says "ball" I answered "yes." Little white lie. And ever since I have felt awful about it. Awful because it doesn't matter whether or not he says "ball" or any other word for that matter and I lied to just make him look like "all of the other kids" around him. I am consciously deciding not to do this again.
There are little white lies that people tell and then their our actual full time liars in the world. I was chatting with my girlfriend Amy this morning and she was in a bit of a fit about a liar in her world right now. For those of us who are not full time liars, it is maddening to deal with a liar. I have dealt with a lot of liars in my day so the advice I gave her is to just let it go. Meaning no matter what you tell a liar, they will lie their way out of whatever lie they have already told you (My brain is tired just writing this, I can't imagine living this way). That is where the maddening part comes in for a non professional liar. You can't have "that" conversation with a liar. By "that" I mean a confrontational conversation. They will just lie their way out of it and confuse you to the point that when you leave the conversation you are even more angry because nothing was accomplished. Again, maddening.
The reason I am on my soap box about this is because this past weekend while visiting "home" (meaning Dvegas-that is what I will always call home) I dealt with a liar. A liar that I have had to deal with for the past 8 years. This liar comes in the form of my Papa President's girlfriend (we shall call her ZD).
ZD was absolutely great when we first met. I was a junior in college. She was fun to talk to, she was hip and with it, and she wasn't trying to be my mom in any sense of the word (all good qualities for a dad girlfriend). We were "friends." I didn't know any better because I hadn't really liked Papa President's previous girlfriend so I though the "friend" thing was a good place to be with his signifigant other.
Then the stealing/lying/more lying/bitchy woman came out of her shell. And here is the deal, its not important about what she lied about (because I honestly can't even go there), what is important is that she lied. And what completely sucks is that I liked her. I thought she liked Papa President and they seemed to have fun together and he seemed happy and I was into it.
There is a lot of pettiness that has come out of the lying. It actually came down to a confrontation with ZD right before P-Daddy and I got married. I told her how I couldn't believe what she had done and continues to do, that I knew she was still lying about parts of it and that she needed to come clean, that she played this bull crap with Papa President that I am the bad guy, that VP is the bad guy, that her she and her son were somehow the victims (my blood pressure is rising as I type). I let her have it. I balled through the entire thing because it does hurt my feelings to have someone so close to my father be so awful to my brother and I.
Communication is key right? That conversation should have got me/us somewhere right? Not with liars. Now they have to lie their way out of their already lie filled life. She could be friendly to my face (for the time being) as long we weren't in the presence of their friends. If the friends are around she is a cold beast to me. You know why? Because she has told them that I am a spolied little beast myself and that I am trying to tear Papa President and her apart. You should see the way those "friends" look at me. I avoid being around them at all costs. Because you know what I want to do? I want to tell them the truth. I want to get really really drunk and let the truth be told about who really is the beast and what she has done. But its not in me, I can't be that hateful. Which is funny, because she thinks and acts like I am hateful. You know why? Because she is a liar. Liars always convince themselves that they haven't in fact lied and that everyone around them is evil because they are calling them a liar. Maddening.
Here is where the buck stops. ZD had a problem that involved a lot of lying and stealing. Since we were "friends" she totally could have come to me and said "I have this problem, blah blah blah" and I would have probably been her biggest advocate in the "healing" process. She would have never been considered a liar in my eyes and anybody who tried to tell me otherwise, well I would have protected her. But life is what it is and the liar she became, and the liar she will always be. No honest steps have ever been taken to show any different so therefore she is a liar.
So Papa President is now thinking about getting married to the liar and I don't know what to do. She not only lies, she loaths VP and I (my father recently told me that she doesn't like it when VP and I are around because she doesn't like or is jealous at how close he is to his children-what??). Its complicated and Papa President is complicated but somehow he sees that this would be an okay decision (to marry her). And yes, he knows about the lying. I think he turns his head to the lying because he doesn't want to be alone.
This weekend was particularly awful because we had "family" pictures. She isn't one to hide when she doesn't like where she is and since her son wasn't in the photo (another day, another blog on that one) she was pissed. Somehow mostly bitchy towards me. Not my dad or my brother, or P-Daddy just me (and kind of JD). She said, and I quote about my 11 month old (because he was a bit crabby-only a 1/2 hour nap in the car and then only about 1/2 hour nap at my brothers and then we had to wake him up for pictures-so crabby) "wow, he has an attitude." Yeah because 11 month olds have been taught "attitude." She somehow was mean to just me because her son is an (insert f word)-up, I am to blame. Interesting...as always.
Believe me when I say that this is not even the half of it but its as personal as I can go and its more than I thought I could even bear to go. I pray often about her, Papa President, my relationship with her, her son, etc. I will continue to do so. For now, she is the liar. The liar that has somehow come into our lives and won't go away.
Every other liar I have had to deal with (mostly friends) were those that came in and went out of my life rather quickly. I couldn't take the lies, would always try to confront them and ask them why they lie about the weirdest things (seriously one gal looked me in my face and told me she wasn't wearing my sweater even though my initials were inside the sweater and it was somehow missing in my closet in the sorority house-c'mon!) they would lie about that too. Again, maddening.
This is just the beginning of the family drama (for those of you tuned into that portion of our blog)...I promised one was coming, just didn't know the FIRST one would be so personal. I will keep it a little more distanced next time! Because yes, the drama is deep around these parts! HA! Yes I have a sense of humor about it! You have to! Laugh with me through these blogs...its better that way!
There are little white lies that people tell and then their our actual full time liars in the world. I was chatting with my girlfriend Amy this morning and she was in a bit of a fit about a liar in her world right now. For those of us who are not full time liars, it is maddening to deal with a liar. I have dealt with a lot of liars in my day so the advice I gave her is to just let it go. Meaning no matter what you tell a liar, they will lie their way out of whatever lie they have already told you (My brain is tired just writing this, I can't imagine living this way). That is where the maddening part comes in for a non professional liar. You can't have "that" conversation with a liar. By "that" I mean a confrontational conversation. They will just lie their way out of it and confuse you to the point that when you leave the conversation you are even more angry because nothing was accomplished. Again, maddening.
The reason I am on my soap box about this is because this past weekend while visiting "home" (meaning Dvegas-that is what I will always call home) I dealt with a liar. A liar that I have had to deal with for the past 8 years. This liar comes in the form of my Papa President's girlfriend (we shall call her ZD).
ZD was absolutely great when we first met. I was a junior in college. She was fun to talk to, she was hip and with it, and she wasn't trying to be my mom in any sense of the word (all good qualities for a dad girlfriend). We were "friends." I didn't know any better because I hadn't really liked Papa President's previous girlfriend so I though the "friend" thing was a good place to be with his signifigant other.
Then the stealing/lying/more lying/bitchy woman came out of her shell. And here is the deal, its not important about what she lied about (because I honestly can't even go there), what is important is that she lied. And what completely sucks is that I liked her. I thought she liked Papa President and they seemed to have fun together and he seemed happy and I was into it.
There is a lot of pettiness that has come out of the lying. It actually came down to a confrontation with ZD right before P-Daddy and I got married. I told her how I couldn't believe what she had done and continues to do, that I knew she was still lying about parts of it and that she needed to come clean, that she played this bull crap with Papa President that I am the bad guy, that VP is the bad guy, that her she and her son were somehow the victims (my blood pressure is rising as I type). I let her have it. I balled through the entire thing because it does hurt my feelings to have someone so close to my father be so awful to my brother and I.
Communication is key right? That conversation should have got me/us somewhere right? Not with liars. Now they have to lie their way out of their already lie filled life. She could be friendly to my face (for the time being) as long we weren't in the presence of their friends. If the friends are around she is a cold beast to me. You know why? Because she has told them that I am a spolied little beast myself and that I am trying to tear Papa President and her apart. You should see the way those "friends" look at me. I avoid being around them at all costs. Because you know what I want to do? I want to tell them the truth. I want to get really really drunk and let the truth be told about who really is the beast and what she has done. But its not in me, I can't be that hateful. Which is funny, because she thinks and acts like I am hateful. You know why? Because she is a liar. Liars always convince themselves that they haven't in fact lied and that everyone around them is evil because they are calling them a liar. Maddening.
Here is where the buck stops. ZD had a problem that involved a lot of lying and stealing. Since we were "friends" she totally could have come to me and said "I have this problem, blah blah blah" and I would have probably been her biggest advocate in the "healing" process. She would have never been considered a liar in my eyes and anybody who tried to tell me otherwise, well I would have protected her. But life is what it is and the liar she became, and the liar she will always be. No honest steps have ever been taken to show any different so therefore she is a liar.
So Papa President is now thinking about getting married to the liar and I don't know what to do. She not only lies, she loaths VP and I (my father recently told me that she doesn't like it when VP and I are around because she doesn't like or is jealous at how close he is to his children-what??). Its complicated and Papa President is complicated but somehow he sees that this would be an okay decision (to marry her). And yes, he knows about the lying. I think he turns his head to the lying because he doesn't want to be alone.
This weekend was particularly awful because we had "family" pictures. She isn't one to hide when she doesn't like where she is and since her son wasn't in the photo (another day, another blog on that one) she was pissed. Somehow mostly bitchy towards me. Not my dad or my brother, or P-Daddy just me (and kind of JD). She said, and I quote about my 11 month old (because he was a bit crabby-only a 1/2 hour nap in the car and then only about 1/2 hour nap at my brothers and then we had to wake him up for pictures-so crabby) "wow, he has an attitude." Yeah because 11 month olds have been taught "attitude." She somehow was mean to just me because her son is an (insert f word)-up, I am to blame. Interesting...as always.
Believe me when I say that this is not even the half of it but its as personal as I can go and its more than I thought I could even bear to go. I pray often about her, Papa President, my relationship with her, her son, etc. I will continue to do so. For now, she is the liar. The liar that has somehow come into our lives and won't go away.
Every other liar I have had to deal with (mostly friends) were those that came in and went out of my life rather quickly. I couldn't take the lies, would always try to confront them and ask them why they lie about the weirdest things (seriously one gal looked me in my face and told me she wasn't wearing my sweater even though my initials were inside the sweater and it was somehow missing in my closet in the sorority house-c'mon!) they would lie about that too. Again, maddening.
This is just the beginning of the family drama (for those of you tuned into that portion of our blog)...I promised one was coming, just didn't know the FIRST one would be so personal. I will keep it a little more distanced next time! Because yes, the drama is deep around these parts! HA! Yes I have a sense of humor about it! You have to! Laugh with me through these blogs...its better that way!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Not a Slacker
So apparently I have some blog readers that are upset with me because its been a little over a week since I updated! I am glad that I am so popular (I know, its not me, its JD but still makes me feel good!). I totally understand the frustration because when I log on to see if my fellow bloggers have updated their lives via blogging and they haven't I am a bit saddened too! :)
But...I am NOT a slacker (promise)! We really have been busy! Lets see...we made cupcakes for Addy and Lilly's birthday party, then JD went to his first birthday party (Addy and Lilly's), we recovered the dining room chairs, made and sent JD's first birthday party invitations, have been working diligently on JD party details (more to come on that one), we had Gdub and Pdub over for dinner, Godmom and Uncle Badgeman over for dinner, Papa President and VP came into town last weekend for a day (we LOVE hosting people!!), Mommy and Daddy (thats P-Daddy and I) FINALLY joined a gym and have been playing some tennis this week in the evenings, I am helping to plan our 10 year class reunion and its coming up so we have been working on that, AND we babysat Addy and Lilly for a bit yesterday! On tap for today is painting the dining room (while Mr. JD is napping), and some light housework! Told you...not a slacker! Just trying to get a million and one things done! Yes, I am a busy body!
But...I am NOT a slacker (promise)! We really have been busy! Lets see...we made cupcakes for Addy and Lilly's birthday party, then JD went to his first birthday party (Addy and Lilly's), we recovered the dining room chairs, made and sent JD's first birthday party invitations, have been working diligently on JD party details (more to come on that one), we had Gdub and Pdub over for dinner, Godmom and Uncle Badgeman over for dinner, Papa President and VP came into town last weekend for a day (we LOVE hosting people!!), Mommy and Daddy (thats P-Daddy and I) FINALLY joined a gym and have been playing some tennis this week in the evenings, I am helping to plan our 10 year class reunion and its coming up so we have been working on that, AND we babysat Addy and Lilly for a bit yesterday! On tap for today is painting the dining room (while Mr. JD is napping), and some light housework! Told you...not a slacker! Just trying to get a million and one things done! Yes, I am a busy body!
JD "helping" me with Addy and Lillys cupcakes!
Cupcake Debut
After the dining room is painted we really are done with projects for the time being and I should be back to waisting JD's nap time to blogging! :) Oh how I have missed it! :)
(L TO R) Addy ("I didn't do it"), Jacob ("What more do you want from me people?"), Jdub ("I'm outta here"), Lilly ("You adults are ridiculous")
Cool Shades Aunt Aimee-Thank you!
Look what I found mom! The wrapping paper tube! Can I have it forever! Its Awesome!!
The way to get babies at this age to look at you AND sit still...crackers!
The dining room chairs recovered
Dining Room Before...(I will post "after" pics soon)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Best Buds
From the moment that my great friend Gdub found out that she was prego too AND having a boy we knew that our sons would be friends for life (because even if they didn't want to be we probably would make them). Jdub was born almost exactly 2 months after JD and they have been (what the dads like to call) best friends ever since.
JD and Jdub meeting for the first time
I find it quite comical actually that the P-Daddy and Pdub (because yes Gdub and I both married men named with the same first name-we were destined to be friends obviously! :) would be sitting drinking a few beers at an "evening play date" (code for parents getting together for dinner and babies laying on the floor and hit each other with their flayling (sp) arms) one of the P's would walk over, look down at the boys and say "there is your best friend," or "smile at your best friend." Gdub and I would just laugh at how ridiculous it sounded (but I know we both think its cute).
Jdub's first sleepover!
JD hasn't always been a great best bud to Jdub though because he does like to touch him (or baby hit him) and Jdub sometimes gets upset. Which, who could blame him? But last week we got together and JD walked over to Jdub and smiled really big and waved and said "HEAAEEA" (JD's version of Hi). And they actually played together! That was so fun to see because for a while (I have to be honest) I thought JD was maybe going to be a bully. Turns out, he is the sweetest boy I always knew he was! :)
Going for a walk with the moms
Taking some time out from the pool to take a photo
I was very fortunate to be pregnant with two of my friends from college, Gdub and Aimee. We called it "the year of the baby" because we all seriously knew so many people that were prego! Gdub and I were the only two that had boys though so they are two guys in a sea of little baby girls born in 2007! I guess that means they will have a large selection out there for future girlfriends (and no, I am not ready to think or talk about that).
Playing nice, YEY!
Lean on me, when you're not strong, I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
Here, I will help you up Jdub! Standing is fun!
Time for sleepy night night!
This is the beginning of a great friendship! Love you "dub" family.
PS-Amy makes the third friend of mine to be with a P. Which is funny because before I met my P-Daddy I had only known one other P in my life. Go P's! You all Rock! :)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Please Read
A fellow blogger (and old friend) needs some good advice on a rather sad situation. Since we are all women and have all been there I thought that maybe you all could lend a hand. I put in my two cents, but I am just one voice.
Click here to read. Thank you to all who can maybe help with your words of wisdom!
Click here to read. Thank you to all who can maybe help with your words of wisdom!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
He's Got Skillz
These aren't your average Bow Hunting or Numb Chuck (sp?) skills (yes, I still quote Napoleon Dynamite. Its an awesome movie so who could blame me?). Mr. JD now walks with his bottle. Specifically the night time bottle. Gone are the days where he cuddles up with mom or dad and somewhat dozes off while he eats for one last time in a day. Nope-he won't even have it. He still goes to bed peacefully so we haven't worried about how he takes this bottle. It used to be sitting up and drinking, now he has JD'd this experience! HA!
The walking baby with bottle business is hysterical so I had to share it with you! Enjoy!
The walking baby with bottle business is hysterical so I had to share it with you! Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)