Monday, September 26, 2011

Long overdue on a good rambling session don't ya think?

OMG I leave for a few months and Blogger goes and changes its interface and its all pretty and new and it makes me feel like I don't belong. HA!

I probably don't. 

I am sure I piss off the regular bloggers. 

But that's not what this is about now is it.

Apparently if you want to be all into FREE social networking you need to be okay with change.  Which is funny because people hate change.  And yet it seems all people are social networking.  Maybe Mark Zuckerberg is single handidly going to change that in the world.  Now that would be an interesting movie.

Can you believe my baby is 6 months old?  I am pretty sure I haven't REALLY blogged since she was an infant.  She is wayy too big.  And wayyy to sweet.  She is the kind of baby that if she was the first born you would for sure have a dozen.  You not me.  But she sure does make it tempting.

Oh but she doesn't really like to sleep.  So excuse me if I misspell words and sort of sound crazy at times through this post.  I am a bit dizzy and delirious most of the time now a days.

Worth it. 

And JD is FOUR!  How did that happen?  I am a mother of a child.  Not a baby.  Oh and speaking of that I have CHILDREN.  Not child.  Children. 

And yet I still act like teenager or 20 something most of the time.  Not with the drinking and the smoking.  But with my weirdness mostly.  And the laughing at my own jokes.  And the weirdness.

I can't wait until my kids can really appreciate their parents weirdness.  I seem to think they will totally dig it and will be laughing with US and not at us.  One can only dream.

And the reason I say "us" is because P-Daddy is just as weird and funny.  If not more so.  But don't tell him I said that because I like him to think I am the funniest and weirdest one around here.

I like to think that the two new hit shows New Girl and Up All Night are somewhat written about me and my life.  I am weird and funny like New girl (just ask me) and up all night is just my life! It just is, OKAY?! :)

So I mentioned this to some of my friends last week but think its definitely worth saying here.

I blogged a lot about how being a SAHM and how it was hard and all that jazz.

Who was I kidding?

Working mom status is the hardest.  And I will tell you why.  You work and have all of that responsibility and have to be on your A game and all professional and smart cause they don't care if you were Up All Night (see how I worked that in there...told ya) or still smell like spit up and snot...nope.  They need you at your best all the time. 

And then there is the guilt.  The mom guilt that you aren't there every waking second with your children ensuring that they know they are loved and adored and nurtured.

And then there is the pangs that you AREN'T there seeing every little amazing thing that your children do each day.

And then there is laundry, and cooking a HEALTHY dinner and trying to spend time with your husband and time for yourself and then there is your friends.  Basically you become a bad friend.  I will say it.  And then you have guilt about that.

And I don't have to get ready for work.  I am pj casual everyday.

And my mom watches our kids.

And every other week I have a cleaning service that changes my sheets and makes my home squeaky clean and beautiful.

And yet its still really hard.  Do I sound like I am complaining?

I am not.  I like my life (can't you tell?!-HA!).  I am happy with the decision to be working.

I am better when I work.

But the moms and dads out there that get up after no sleep and get themselves ready, their kids ready, drop their kids at a daycare somewhere and are at their desk by 8am.  Well, they are my new hero's.


Moving On...

I have officially diagnosed myself with a MILD (okay maybe moderate) case of OCD.  P-Daddy and I had the whole day to ourselves (basically) yesterday and we both decided to spend the day completely organizing our lives.  Relax cause we get no sleep..nahhh!  Lets maticulously organize the tool box in the garage (if you are wondering, no it wasn't P-Daddy-it was me), medicine cabinet, and our master bedroom closet.  Oh and don't forget loading up three large boxes of kids clothes (tear) for Goodwill. 

Or the fact that before P-Daddy and I had a little get-away I labeled all of Baby J's drawers and made the below (which is just one page of the entire binder I left for our precious babies caretakers that weekend). 

Not to mention that this month alone I have re-arranged our living room twice.  Last month-once.

Apparently OCD is currently how I am dealing with my issues.  HA!  Better that than Marlboro Ultra Lights right?!  Can I get an AMEN?

P-Daddy and I did get away recently to go and watch our great friends get hitched.  We made a long weekend out of it and spent some quality time with each other and friends.  It was awesome and much needed.

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. 

At other people's jokes that is. 

I laugh that hard all the time at my own of course.

We have great friends. 

And that's all I got for today.

1 comment:

Lora said...

I miss you! But I totally understand where you are.

I was extremely OCD while pregnant and for about 2 years after. Turns out that is totally normal. I asked the therapist, who said that it is just something people's brains do when exhausted and life seems a little upside down.

Love those babies. While four year olds aren't really babies, they are still your baby.