First things first...to my left you will see a brand new poll on whether or not Baby #2 will be a boy or a girl. Only 29 days left to vote people...do your blog stalker thang and cast your vote today! Go Baby Dumas #2! :)
Second things second. We had some of our friends over on Friday night and it was so much fun! By SOME of our friends I mean my college girlfriends and their significant others. It has been FOREVER since we were all together so I was extra excited! The boys sat in our living room and watched the Reds game (or tried) as we did our usual thing and yelled over each other trying to just get a word in edge wise amongst ourselves. This is normal, right?
I did realize a few things worth sharing from that evening.
One is I couldn't have a more diverse group of friends by means of personalities. I am pretty sure everyone was offended at least once by another's comment throughout the evening, including comments that I am sure I made. We are ALL definitely not afraid to use our First Amendment right with each other. Although this is nothing new to the group it still shocks me a little every time we are together.
Another is I am not doing a very good job when it comes to being myself as a Christian amongst my friends. I realized that they don't see me as a religious person at all that evening (because yes religion came up) and I am disappointed in myself.
And finally I realized that one of the reasons we don't get together that often anymore is because we all don't have a lot in common anymore. This is probably one of the saddest factoids. However, I don't walk away from this realization sad at all...because all of those beautiful and talented ladies are wonderful people and friends. And we will always have our get togethers. Just not Desperate Housewives style where it is in the neighborhood and we have our morning coffee together. Its a lot more like we live in separate cities and our get togethers are to catch up on each others lives. Which is probably the "normal" for a lot of people. It just wasn't the normal for us for a lot of years.
I realized this summer especially how much I haven't let myself branch out from these girls because I didn't want to offend any of them. I realized this because I did branch out...and found myself having a lot of fun with other friends...friends that have been around for a lot of years that have had the patience to stay in my life without me putting much effort in until recently. Its just that I never really let other friends IN. Because I had MY circle of friends. I was cheating myself by not being REAL friends with anyone else besides the ladies I once lived on Hampton Drive with (well them and my Dvegas girlfriends-but my Dvegas friends are a breed of their own because I never had trouble letting them in...and they all have known me since I was 10 or younger even, chubby, boy haircut, you know the lovely awkward years).
I think its because it took me a long time to really let my college friends in. My life in college to many of my now close friends seemed at one time (because they have told me) as careless and care free. And there definitely was a part of my college days that were exactly that. But behind the scenes, those who really got to know ME found that I had been an ADULT in my family for years and years. And I was in a lot of ways parenting my brother at the time. My carelessness and carefreeness was my release from my real life. Its also how I buried pain but that's for another day and another blog. But not everyone knew what they knew about me and my personal life and I have always revered their friendships...for being there when I was in a rough spot...helping find lots and lots of laughter and being a shoulder to lean on.
So in many ways I feel grateful for all of the above. That I have these amazing women in my life that are great friends... but that I have many others in my life that I have finally let IN and am having so much fun with. Yes I still have fun with my college friends (reread above). Lots of it... we have had some amazing times and I know we have more amazing ones in our future.
I have to be somewhat careful in writing this because a lot my college girlfriends read this (hi ladies) and again I was so fiercely loyal to them for so many years that its somewhat hard for me to be so honest. Even with myself on this subject. I sat in bed and thought long and hard about this blog and realized that my favorite blogs are ones where I am honest...so here I am.
I feel fortunate for all the wonderful people in my life and love them all dearly. I just love to share my thoughts in hopes that I can help another. And I am quite sure that I am not alone in trying to stay true to my friends, those friends drifting a part, struggling to let new friends in and balancing life, friends, family, God, work, kids. And that is all I have to say about that.
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