P-Daddy gets told ALL.THE.TIME he is "just like his father." Which isn't a negative thing at all, it just isn't true. :) But I let the family continue to say it because its their gig. And P-Daddy and his daddy look a LOT a like. Way more than the other bro's...so I see how that could throw them all off. Ha!
I look a LOT like my mom, minus her height. I didn't quite get to 5'11...I hang out at 5'5 (on a good day). But if you look back at pictures from when she was my age its a bit scary how much we resemble each other. And I am like her in a lot of ways.
For example, I make my friends mix CD's whenever an opportunity arises to do so. Momism for sure.
I also shop on the sale rack first, wear my heart on my sleeve and feel very comfortable cooking without a recipe.
But as a PARENT, lately I have realized I may just be my dad. I have been told I am "just like your father" several times in my life. Mostly when I am in an angry and stubborn sort of mood. Which paints a bad picture of my dad. He isn't bad just so you know. He does have a temper (not a scary one, just a normal type) and is very stubborn.
I actually love how my dad parented. He was strict but knew when to give a little. He worked really hard to provide for his family, but when he came home he would always play with us or work with us on our sports. In the summer he would find time to coach our teams and come to the pool to swim with us. He had a social life with my mom, for himself, but you knew that we were the most important thing.
I painted a REALLY pretty picture there...we were NOT at ALL a perfect family. He made LOTS of mistakes in his life that affected our family. But now that I am a parent I look back at THOSE things above and really appreciate that I had a dad that was there.
I am like him though in the way of being the strict parent. I am not afraid to yell. I am also not afraid to give lots of hugs and love. I am not afraid to sacrifice everything (even sleep, especially sleep) for my child(ren). I get a little short tempered when JD acts up over and over again. I work hard for their future.
This is just one of those funny little things in life I think. Looking back at your parents and seeing the good and the bad. Trying to figure out your own way but realizing there are things that they did that will be embedded in you forever.
I am glad I make mix CD's and wear my heart on my sleeve. I am also glad that I am able to be strict yet loving.
Which of your parents are you most like?
2 comments:
you know I want to scream NEITHER!! because everything I do as a parent is deliberately completely different from what they did.
But, truth be told...
On the inside I'm more like my mom. Who left us with our dad when I was 7 or 8. I want to run away and my brain has this way of telling my mind that everyone would be better off without me and I should just go and let everyone else take care of things.
On the outside, I'm more like my dad. I want to sit down and talk things out for hours on end and cry and point fingers and say "how could you ____?" any time someone did something to disrupt my aura.
But, my insides don't get the best of me and my outsides are usually controlled and calm.
I try to be the parent I wish I had.
And it's hard.
I was just thinking about this the other day. I guess I had always considered it inevitable that I would end up parenting just like my mom, even though (and I love her deeply and sincerely) I don't agree with some of the way she parented my sister and me. She wasn't a bad mom by any stretch, she just wasn't very demonstrative in her feelings for us, and I think it just came from the fact that her own mother wasn't especially maternal. I don't know. I think my parents both did a good job (if I do say so myself), and they both have great qualities and less-than-stellar qualities, and for some reason I was operating under the assumption that I would turn out to be exactly like them.
And then the other day I realized that I don't want to, and so I don't have to. I know I am much more affectionate and open about my love for my son than my mom ever was with me, and I don't think I necessarily get that from my dad, either. I can choose to be my own kind of parent and do the very best by our child(ren) and I don't necessarily have to be just like anybody. I can be just like me, and be the best damn mom around. :)
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